23Nov2009; 3 days before the start of my 1st paper in yr3 (2nd yr of studies in ntu) but what happened to me, i havent been able to find/get the right momentum/moods/drive to keep me mugging. i should be mugging hard and preparing fr e papers the past week. yes, i had a nice schedule planned out, but oh well, i didnt seem to be able to keep up to em =( but now, today, yes, i have to push myself...having 2+, 3 untouched/incomplete subjects for the upcoming papers, i rly feel e pressure now..sigh...
i've no idea, the urge for me to study has sometimes flown away, but NO, i cant! as i still need to graduate with a good cert.lol.

went for the 1st so called concert of my lifetime last sat with a long known friend =) was a nice day out tho. the feeling is really different having to listen to the celebrity singing it live and when we listem to them in cds. and yarrrr, rlyalot of difference too sitting down as an audience and when attending events as a photographer.

oh and while i was studying yesterday at home, my sis and her hubby were starting to prepare for their new born baby.its bound to be out early next mth, so lets wait for further news ;)
photos will definitely be up in fb..muahaha

been a long time since i last posted here again eh...oh well, guess there aint many readers anw, just a place for my thoughts and feels here, as i dont know who to confide in at times..i'll rly try to do a daily update here, in case there's rly some anonymous readers out there, somewhr in this world.

my aim before i entered uni was to do satisfactorily well in school & have a bunch of close friends..basically to work, study & play hard....not sure if i'll b able to achieve that tho...haix

was lookin at the another group of ppl photos...sometimes wonders why we cant be as close as them =/

since i cant write it out at another place and no one will ever understand me..but ah, wtf....

21 yrs 9 mths..and even since e day i know much more abt this world, i am still in ur hands...wth can...whoever doesnt understand that u all care...i do appreciate, but i wud so appreciate it much if u wil know hwo i feel too...yes, i am glad that u have allowed me to go camps (at least thats a stay out of home fr few days), etc...i rly appreciate..but...oh well, theres much more to it...but ah, heck, wateva i say are still isnt of any use...i mean, the other u stays here mainly also just because to cook and slightly take care of me...thats all?
i do envy others sometimes when i look at them and thinking for my own plight..

and u, sometimes i feel pity and sad of why u cant make ur own decision...ppl ask u to do things, u do...and last week when i see that ppl trying to encourage u to go into that biz, i sneer to myself thinking that u may be doing smth that u dont like agn...its not even ur forte...but there's nth u can do...
and yes i am appreciative of u, wat u have done for all of u and me.

last mth while chatting with a fren...chatting abt similar case...she mentioned that she's having similar case too and i think the reasons are kinda same too..but oh well, she's a girl and am a guy, helloooo...that alrdy makes alot of diff...

mayb i shud have insisted on going into army back then when i graduated from poly =/ i always say that i dont wana go army due to the wastage of time..but u guys keep saying its gd trng, yes i agree its gd trng...but am thinking of other things - will my life be diff now if i have enrolled in e army back then? no one knows...

guess this matter will always be in me till i go into the workforce..and yes! i will go into the workforce and earn money of my own...

came across this while browsing through some of my friend's facebook profile...

"ANYONE can make you smile MANY PEOPLE can make you cry But it takes SOMEONE SPECIAL to make you smile with tears in your eyes"

one down, another up....

sigh...where can i ever find another as good?
hahahhahahahaha....

these shall all be memories and remind me of what happened when i read these posts in future...

my house phone rang...
i picked it up thinking that my mum couldnt hear it or that she was busy upstairs...

"Hello...." no one answered...i paused and "Harlo..." again...noises are chit chats are what i heard but not any replies to my greetings...

To my disbelief...i hear familiar cries......
i have no idea wat may have caused the cries...
Pressure? Stress? Disorder? Influence? are some of the things i could think of...

but Again, i could not do anything to salvage it...

One hr later, they replied that they have had their lunch...
and Again, i am the only one who roughly knows what happened and i have to keep it to myself...
the feeling is utterly horrible....

it's gone when it's just arrived..........